Selfish Vs. Fat (who you rather?)

Selfish vs. Fat

(who'd you rather?)

 

I wake up late again but with enough time to get to the gym for my 5:45am class. I was five minutes away when I got pulled over. The officer looks at me and I can tell he was surprised to see it was not a drunk person or a teenager driving like a punk. It was a mother driving to the gym at 5:30 am on a Saturday morning. I was going over the speed limit to get to the gym on time. I never drive fast these days because I have Doogie in the car with me most of the time. The officer laughed at my story, was understanding but managed to give me a $280 ticket. Ouch. While I wait for the ticket another cop car stops. Then he asked, do you need back-up? And my cop said, "Na, it's a mom trying to get to the gym on time." By the time he gave me the ticket, it was way too late to make it to the gym at all. This is my second Saturday in a row that I miss out on my 90 minute workout. I made a u-turn and went home. I was praying that it would not rain because I needed to make up the 90 minute workout somehow. I got home, parked my car, changed my high socks and off I went running. It was insane how humid it was. It was rough to complete the 8 miles but I had a goal to burn 800 calories.

When I got home around 7:30am Doogie was getting up and asking for mama pancakes. When I had a chance, I start checking emails, twitter, Facebook etc. In Facebook I noticed two of my best friends liked one of those e-cards that said "some people call it letting your-self go, I call it putting my kids needs before my own. You should try it sometime." And so my rant begins.

First, I want to make it clear the two friends that liked the e-card are so pretty and well maintained that a bad looking day for them is a good day for the rest of us. They both dropped all the baby weight within weeks and rock a bikini like no one's business. I can appreciate why they like this comment. NO matter how much they think they have let themselves go, TRUST THEY HAVE NOT!

As for me, I could not disagree more with this BS!!! How dare thee!!! Are you telling me that women must look like shit in order to have happy kids? Are you telling me that we must stay fat because our kids need us? Are you telling me that we must walk around with overdue roots because our kids need us around 24/7? Are you telling me that we should not have a spa day because our kids cannot do without us? Are you telling me we should not hire help or turn to our family for help because our kids only need us? Are you telling me that I can’t have my breast done because my kid needs it more than I do? Are you telling me that I should not join a gym because I am taking away time from my kids? Are you telling me waking up at 4:20am is selfish of me because my kids aren’t up yet? ARE YOU FUC%$#@ SERIOUS?!

Let me tell you what my kid needs whoever wrote that sack of bullshit! My kid needs a healthy mother that understands the difference between what he needs and what he wants! My kid needs me to be physically fit to run around with him and run after him! My kid needs for me to come home stress free so I can dedicate time to him without having 100 things to worry about. My kid needs for me to eat healthy so I can cook healthy meals for him. My kid needs to see his father and mother laughing and smiling to teach him how to laugh and smile. My kid needs for his mommy to feel good about herself in order to be a good mother. My kid needs for mommy to have a mommy day to read a book, go to the spa or catch a movie so mommy can decompress. My kid needs to understand that needing me is one thing but helicopter parenting is another  (that will be another blog).My kid needs to understand that as much as I want him to stay with me all his life, he can’t because I need to share him with the rest of the world. I need to share him with his father because he is my other half. I need to share him with his grandparents because they are his life. I need to share him with family because that’s what he will be left with when we are gone. I need to share him with friends so he can understand the meaning of friendship. I need to share him with school so he can get an education. I need to share him with music classes so he can develop his passion. I need to share him with soccer classes so he can develop coordination. I need to share him with god because god is the one that shared him with me first. (For those of you that don’t’ believe in god, I understand, but this is my blog and I get to believe what I want).

As for what I need? I need to run. I need to run for the sake of sanity. I need to run for the free endorphins. I need to run to be the winner in my own race. I need to run to feel like a champ. I need to run to feel good about myself when I look in the mirror. I need to run to stay around for as long as I can. I need to watch what I eat to install good habits in my son. I do my hair, toes, wax, manicure, roots, Botox, etc. because I like it! I need to feel that getting close to 40 is not about bring sexy back but about making sure it never leaves! Running is what I like and being a mother is who I am. I don’t have to choose between running and being a mother. I don’t need to choose between letting myself go vs. being selfish.  I am a mother who does her runs and exercise while the rest of the household sleeps! This is my time! My date with the streets of Pembroke Pines and Coldplay’s playlist.
 

Having a child is the most unselfish act one human can do for another. To be told that it's okay to look like shit, stay fat and let yourself go as long as you're attending to your kids needs is not only outdated and insulting but it also makes you sound like an asshole.

My time, my body, my kid, my life.

How I manage "it" is on me, how you judge "it" is on you.

I burned 829 calories today. I ate well. I ate some sweets at a baby shower. I did not drink any wine, drinks or soda. I ate all my veggies and 1 slice of bread. I did this all without my kid around. My son was with his dad having a boy’s day. I knew that if I took him with me to the baby shower he would get bored. I knew he wasn’t going to like the food or the games. I knew he would rather go eat pizza and then to the book store to get new bed time books. I knew he’d rather go check out his new drum set that his grandparents might get him for his birthday. I knew he needed to take his nap in between. I knew he was going to come running into my room telling me “mama I go with dada, l luff you mama.” I told my husband what to do if he got cranky, how much pizza he can have and around the time he would need his nap. If this isn't putting your kids needs first then I don't know what is! I know all this things because I have been by his side ever single day since he got to planet earth. I know this because I am his mother! It does not matter the quantity of time I have to give him what matters is the quality of time I do give him.

“A mother with endorphins is the happiest mother a child can have, you should try it sometime.” (Now this quote deserves the like button)

 

Loves,

 

gFoReal

 

PS

We have mothers from all roads of the world. How each mother decides to parent should never be judged. How each mother decides to look while she parents will always be judged? We need to do better!

 

PSS

The grade I give myself today is a B.