25,550 Days!

 

25,550 Days!

 

 

I got up at 4:20am today to meet the team at our meeting location. Wednesday is usually the day I run with other gym partners. We started our run around 5:05am. I was behind everyone today. This team is such an inspiration that I am honored to be able to be part of their group.  The team had to turn back on mile 3 but I decided to continue. I knew if I didn't continue I would end up going back and calling it a day. I wanted to complete a few miles more. Actually, I wanted to do something in honor of the victims of 9/11 so I made myself a promise that I would run 11 miles on behalf of those that aren't here to run anymore.

 

I have always had a fear of running in the dark but more of a fear of running in the dark in Pembroke Pines! I am scared of all those animals that live around Pembroke Pines. When I got to my 4th mile I was running in a very dark street without too many cars. I was so scared, I felt like I was about to shit my running shorts. However, I kept on going and kept on moving. Then I hear my Nike chic say 5 miles completed. I told myself you only have 6 miles to go. This is a simple 10k. I tell myself all kinds of lies when I run so I can believe them myself. I tell myself running is going to get me skinny and make me into the happiest person in the world. I tell myself running is Prozac. As I am having this conversation with myself I hear my Nike chic again telling 7 miles completed. I must have been in a middle of a serious conversation with myself on the 6th mile because I did not even notice. By this time (the 7th mile) I see the sun is starting to come out, I can see the pinkish skies and the street lights dimming down. On my 8th mile things start getting rough. I feel the dehydration kicking in and the heat. OMG THE HEAT! It was 94% humid today when we went running. Humidity to runners is like a menstrual cycle to a penis, yeah the ride will still be good but it's so unnecessary and you last so much longer without it. On my 9th mile I was really ready to give up. I told myself think about something else quick, as I said this I heard the DJs talking about where they were during 9/11. I was driving to work and remembered being annoyed with myself because I knew the outfit I was wearing was 2 sizes too small but I wanted to wear it because I always make myself fit into clothes even when it doesn't. As I start my 10th mile I realize that 13 years later and I am still having the same "I am too fat to wear this outfit" conversation with myself 24/7! 13 years later!! I graduated, got married, had a son, bought a house, had Botox, fixed my cracked out teeth and established my career. I did everything I set myself to do but I am still a prisoner in my own body & mind. I was still struggling with weight gain, bad eating habits and counting calories. I did the math and I realized that if I live up to 82 years this means I would have spent close to 25,550 days worrying about being fat!! All  because of my love affair with sweets and carbs! Women have enough to worry about! Are our kids okay? Are we doing a good job? Will they resent me because I didn't cook them organic foods all their life? Is my husband still into me? Was I a good daughter? Is my job safe? How are we going to pay for college? Is this a safe world? Are politics destroying us? and the list will go on and on. On top of it all we have to worry about being fat and not skinny enough? I thought to myself, I am running at 5am in the morning 11 miles, in the middle of Pembroke Pines with 94% humidity because I think I am FAT!!! What is wrong with this picture?!!! Then I hear my Nike chic say 11 miles completed. I stopped, looked up at the sky and said "9/11 victims this was for you".

I realized feeling fat got started but PURPOSE kept me going!

 

Find your reason to START then find your PURPOSE to keep on going!

 

I did not eat great today. I had Thai food but only half of the lunch portion. We had a business lunch that I had to attend. I did good for breakfast and dinner. I had a major weak moment around 3pm. I wanted a cookie but the BIGASS cookies from Starbucks. I went to buy it and right when I was ordering I thought about gFoReal and I changed my mind. I settled for 10 mini chocolate almonds instead. I satisfied the sweet tooth craving after lunch. Proud that today is Day 3 without my skinny cow ice cream but I did have one of Eddy's Acai pops (60 calories). This satisfied my sweet tooth craving after dinner.

 

I love sweets and carbs. I've had a relationship with them for most of my life. I will continue to have a relationship with them for the rest of my life. But I know that in order to be around for 25,550 days I need to START changing my relationship with them with the PURPOSE of becoming a healthier, happier and more fabulous version of me.

 

Did you start? What's your Purpose to continue?

 

Love,

 

gFoReal

 

 

I give myself a grade of a B today. (Only because I burned 1135 calories this morning).

 

PS How is it going everyone? Have you worked out this week? Did you quit diet coke? I want to hear your stories!!!